Overthrown

A queen has made her home
In my ruins
Sat on her throne she looks to me
In the shadows
Eyes burning
Alive with all the quiet things
She dares me to ask
Yet acknowledges I will not say
She picks her battles well
Where as I
I have kept my enemies closer
To retreat until I am safe
At a distance
Cast out in to the remote edges
Where my will
Can no longer be heard.

no free will of their own

Free will
The choice between
Right and wrong
Seated there
In black and white.

The whole essence
Of what makes us human
All that defines us
Placed in two small words.

We choose to be
Who we are.

But what if it was taken
From me?

Picked at
Worn away
Eroded
Ever so slightly
With each passing day.

And nights
Which were meant to be filled
With steadying dreams
Descended to the depth
Of hell
With me on her back
Carried like a child
Weak
Unopposing
Afraid to call out.

I never wanted a fuss.

We closed our eyes
We sealed our lips
It became enough to get through
The days.

And in the mist
Me, vacant
An empty vessel
Waiting to be filled
With lies she cultivated in grace
Her certainty ingrained
Into my living thoughts
Leaving no room for me
Or free will.

But without
I am less than human
And walk alone.

Last line of defence

My heart aches
A thousand times over
Then keeps spreading
Like there is nothing left
To contain it
The battlements obliterated
Our defences gone
Till all that remains
Is this.

And we seep.

Harbour

I can make it still.

Calm the waves;
Hold the storm in my hands
Caressing
And turn it’s energy inwards.

I can do this for you,
In the blink of an eye
Whilst humanity
Favours the bold.

But I can make it still.

Genie

I wish you could see the world from where I stand,
All shiny and new,
Alight with endless possibilities of who you could be;
Food for the soul.
Open doors, that if you just had the courage to step through,
Would stave off the feeling you fight so hard to hide.
The whole world is yours
And yours alone.
There for the taking when you rise from this dark sleep.

I wish you would stop trying to fade away.

In a sunlit woodland

I have a picture
of a girl
where she hangs in the breeze,
waiting,
for someone to notice.

But the feet
they tread past and
their eyes don't wander,
not from the path.

(It's not their fault they have
hardened their hearts.)

Life's lessons
too painful to assimilate,
a girl with their face,
my beautiful picture.

Dreaming of Hospital Beds in Dinning Rooms

If I tell the air that I miss you
Will you hear it on the breeze
As it passes by?

Face towards the sun
We sit,
Remembering those summers past
When the day was long
And the nights warm.

This was all we knew,
Nothing else was needed.

Now I am meant to be brave,
Pretend not to notice the wind,
Ignore the chill
As it settles into my bones.

But I miss you
And there is this pain
Which refuses to leave
Because we watched you fall.

Casting shadows at dawn

You disappear
down the stairs,
out of the house
in the blink of an eye,
before we have chance
to grasp your hand.

You were here
and then you weren't.

Now we chase shadows
in the street,
imagining
they might be you.

They are not.

Written on a piece of paper, folded and forgotten

Seize the day babe.

Only I forgot
As the day got long
And drifted from view.

Instead
I grew scared.

And settled into this life.
Happy.

Or not.