Hairline Fracture

So I hid my brokenness.

But kept on breaking.

Over again.
Over again.

It kept on.

Breaking.

I kept breaking.

Over.
Over.

But I hid my brokenness.
So you wouldn't see.

Mind

I’m slightly crazy

or is that slightly mad

mad about you

you who control

control all my thoughts

thoughts of a different life

life beyond fear

fear of rejection

rejection of me

me who knows nothing

nothing is clear

clear away depict

depict within myself

myself alone

alone amongst the tears

tears that fall

fall away from a world

world in chaos

chaos travels my mind,

I mind.

Catholic girl

With my guilt I should be catholic

or at least down on my knees and praying.

Cause I’ve got bucket loads of the stuff,

over flowing, over whelmed and consumed.

Yes the priest would be proud.

And are you, my vengeful God,

pleased to watch my daily struggle.

Are you pleased?

Are you proud?

Just Me

Is it just me?

Is it just me?

Maybe it’s just me?

Sometimes I wonder

if it’s just me.

Not you.

Not you and me.

Just me.

Just me alone.

Me on my own.

What if it’s just me?

And you’re not here.

And they’re not here.

Only me.

Just me.

Is it just me?

I don’t want it to be

just me.

Almost

Almost brave.
Almost
the sweet sickly girl
the one who lingered
lying in your mind
almost caught
almost brave
almost believed.

Almost

Not quite.
Nearly
Nearly there.

Almost the perfect version
of the lie
never worthy unless
your tongue formed
broken words.

Almost pleasing.
Almost hiding.

No more.
Not now.
Never almost.

Frost in May

Coldness bathes
my failing skin
as falling flakes
settle upon
that which once
burned bright
in sunlight,
bathed in spelndor
and all the protection
offered in being.
And now
how I long for
the unknown,
to slip
beneath the surface
as snow falls
gently
from the sky.

After

If time stands still because you are absent from the world then life has failed and all that is left is to gently pack away the remaining remnants of you.