Coded

Those words I say
“I’m fine.”
When you ask
How I am
They’ve coded meaning

What you should hear is
All I fail
To disclose

What I want to say is
Everything
Which tears me down

How my world
Has been consumed

That life
Is a daily battle
As I fight
To draw breath

Struggle against
Constant chaos
When all I want is calm

And behind this façade
Emptiness has crept forward
Chipping away
Until I can’t remember
Who I could be

I was good
Once

Now
I cannot say.