Imagery

I have a wandering thought
sometimes I catch glimpses of
that if I had a semi-automatic
I could figure what was wrong.

Take away the emptyness.

Hold it in my hand
pull the trigger.

Hold it to my head
pull the trigger.

She

She objects
to everything
you ever were

and everything
I cannot be.

You, grateful and contented

My ghost

shimmered in the attic,
sparkling for all to see

gently
carving herself
into my side.

You,
grateful for all she entertained
and kept contented.

And you left me
alone with her

glistening and new

what harm could come to me?

My ghost
darkened my mind
burning away memories

to keep me numb.

The Other

I
stole your
words
replacing them
with
my own
until
somewhere amoungst
all
the debris
you
thought they
were
your own.

Fighting back

Today
I fight hard
to breath.

To be.

To stand still
in this space

fucked up
and caged in.

Today
I fight hard
to be.

Stalling

Faltering on my way to
unimaginable highs,
stuttering,
I splinter in every way possible
and ways
you haven't yet thought of.

Living Proof

One big lie

that you played
like a game.

And played again.

Played so often
none of us questioned.
None of us doubted.

It was a lie.

So big
it encased
anybody who touched it.

I became the lie.

I lived the lie.

No Room

Standing in the middle
of an ever expanding room
it feels as if
I'm being crushed
by the weight
of everybodies expectations.

There is no space left
that I cannot occupy
and now they are
in my head
I find no room left
for me.

And

And it crushes you
and steals you
and leaves you afraid
and drags you down

and you let it.

Clinging on

A day
like today
gives you something
to cling on to.

A good day.

Left

I have vacated
the space
I once occupied
and managed
to go unnoticed.

Move Forward

What if I left you behind
So what?
Who cares?
You see you left me behind
in ever so many ways
And now I have to move
forward
or forever remain in the past.
And there are my reasons.
So simple
so plain
no string quartet attached.
I left because
I cared
enough not to look back.

Worn

Mama said it was broken,
beyond repair.

Life had slowly worn him out.

Silently

My watching angel
how quietly
you slipped from view.

And kept silent
as they nailed
your wings
to the wall.

Objection

She objects
to everything
you ever were

and everything
I cannot be.

Pieces

I leave her a tiny piece of sparkling light
so when the night finally comes
she will know that I have been here.

Map book

My map
is so small
you could
trace it
on the palm
of my hand.

And still
have space.

Broken

Who was the first to break?
Was it I
the little girl?

OR was it you?

I was already broken.

So

So here I am
with sparkling raindrops
encasing me
in my own cocoon
of bottles and pictures
and everything
that was ever anything.

Imaginary gun

I have a wandering thought
I sometimes catch a glimpse of
that if I had a semi-automatic
I could figure what was wrong.

Take away the emptiness.

Hold it in my hand
pull the trigger.

Hold it to my head
pull the trigger.

Little Monsters

FAITHFULLY I WANTED TO BE QUEEN
A QUEEN,
FOR ALL ETERNITY.


WHAT YOU GOT WAS THIS.


NO QUEEN, NO FANFARE, NO HAPPY EVER AFTER.
FOR LITTLE MONSTERS
CAN NOT BE QUEEN.