Dare to breath

Some nights I wonder
If I could announce that I
Was the worst kind of monster

(A criminal against who
Charges of
Acts against humanity
Have been levied)

And you would still sit there

Impassive

Like I barely filtered any more
Into your subconscious

Acceptable only when I hide
Emotion away

With a smile faked
To make what has become our life
OK.

Before you we wait

I get to be queen,
Play at being The Empress,
Just,
Merciful,
The final word
In the eyes of my loyal subjects.

They have laid their souls bare,
Placed them on the table
Then stepped back,
As if I am suppose to know
What to do.

But I don’t (I whisper.)

I get to play,
Act like I know what I'm doing
And pass judgement.

Judgement without having a clue.

But I get to be queen.

the empty promise of youth

You told me
You’d be back for me
And I waited
young and naïve
With a heart pounding.

Every second I
Kept on believing.

Each night
Where I waited for
The creak of the door
Before your shadow
Would disappear
Taunting the heart
I held open
in my withered hands.

And it bled me dry
Until the voice once soothing
Claimed back those words
Unleashing vengeance
Turning them into
Nothing more than
An empty pile of ashes
To burn in my mind.

Now

You are in all the empty spaces
The lack of you
Fills them completely
As if serving to remind me
Of your missing presence
The peacefulness
Screaming out your name
Because it can no longer forget.

Tell me how can you be gone
Yet still be so present?

Wednesday

Waste.

We always end up with waste,
No matter how hard we try,

Paid for,
Owned.

Whilst those above us,
Below us,
Around,
Shake their heads and tut
As if they can’t comprehend
How we could be so foolish;

How you could be so foolish.

Blinkered.

Piling up the dregs
Until they rot from the bottom up,
Bleeding,
Staining every surface it contacts.

Marking it out as flawed.
Marking me out as flawed.

Waste we never got rid off.

The left over pieces we let perish
And erode
Because you were afraid to throw it away.

Accomplice

If we watch you
Crawl out of your skin
Does that make us complicit
In the slow unadulterated
Murder of self

A taking apart
As such

An itch that can’t seem
To be scratched
Unless it is broken and pulled
And left open
To the air
Inviting all that could infect
In
With open arms
To bed down and linger
And rot

Or does it makes us
Human
As we choose to love
All you seek to destroy

Yet fail to prevent
The world from crushing
Life weary bones