Scattered

What I long for
is to be
released from my own skin,
to tear her apart,
scattering
across the continents
so she cannot be
put back together
and I can find escape.

Life On One Level

I like to pretend
that the life I lead
is the one that I chose.

And I did choose it.

Chose it because
it was safe.

Still

all my questions
and uncertainties
remain.

And I want
some surprises.

And I want
some excitement.

And I want
the life
I might have had

if only I hadn't been
so afraid.

Raging in silence

There is
a devil raging inside of me,
only she has
a pretty voice.

And can wear pretty clothes.

You know the ones,
those reserved for perfection,
those above you and me.

Believing the lie.

So far from pretty when bones
jut out
from all angles

and small is no longer small enough.