Fortitude

I don’t want it to get easier;
Do you understand?
If getting easier means
We come to forget all you meant.
I want to stand in the rain,
Or sun,
Muttering words under my breath
About yesterday, till I find
The courage to be loud.

Novella

If you could read me
Would I be the blank page
With nothing remarkable to show
Or a story book
Already written
With nowhere new to go?

Debellatio

In my wake
Destruction
All wrought for you

Brought down
Within a clenched iron fist

My weapon of choice

You said the
Word
So I carved out chaos

Sent the masses fleeing
In all directions
As unease settled
Like a blanket of snow
Over the land

And how it burnt.

A garden and a library

Standing on the edge of the world
Watching,

The view from here
Illuminating your chosen path
As it meanders
Then turns in a moment
To race full pelt towards
Infinity.

Finality.

To where we cannot follow,
Dare not.

Not because we have loved you less
But if we go
Step along your footprints
Then who would be here
To shout your name
Remind the world
That no matter what it cares to throw
In our directions
Kindness matters
And implants itself like a seed
To grow strong around our hearts
So that
In times of drought
There will be new shoots ready to
Take the place
Of everything which dies away.

You put that there
Cultivated us
And we grew bold

And learnt how to garden.

Your path will wait

And when the days grow short
Then
Then we will follow.

Overthrown

A queen has made her home
In my ruins
Sat on her throne she looks to me
In the shadows
Eyes burning
Alive with all the quiet things
She dares me to ask
Yet acknowledges I will not say
She picks her battles well
Where as I
I have kept my enemies closer
To retreat until I am safe
At a distance
Cast out in to the remote edges
Where my will
Can no longer be heard.

no free will of their own

Free will
The choice between
Right and wrong
Seated there
In black and white.

The whole essence
Of what makes us human
All that defines us
Placed in two small words.

We choose to be
Who we are.

But what if it was taken
From me?

Picked at
Worn away
Eroded
Ever so slightly
With each passing day.

And nights
Which were meant to be filled
With steadying dreams
Descended to the depth
Of hell
With me on her back
Carried like a child
Weak
Unopposing
Afraid to call out.

I never wanted a fuss.

We closed our eyes
We sealed our lips
It became enough to get through
The days.

And in the mist
Me, vacant
An empty vessel
Waiting to be filled
With lies she cultivated in grace
Her certainty ingrained
Into my living thoughts
Leaving no room for me
Or free will.

But without
I am less than human
And walk alone.

Last line of defence

My heart aches
A thousand times over
Then keeps spreading
Like there is nothing left
To contain it
The battlements obliterated
Our defences gone
Till all that remains
Is this.

And we seep.